The Blog version of the articles written by Studly-C, and presented on the LTM site at www.loserturdmafia.com
Published on June 25, 2004 By Studly-C In Philosophy

The Loser Turd Mafia. The LTM. Whatever you decide to address our institute, we are still a rag tag group of rugby freaks and nerdy outcasts. The social recluses and abandoned pariah are what we have become. To think we have become what we are from what we were. The Trench coat Mafia. These are people in which helped give the way for our party. In the 1990’s these individuals attacked a school, and predictably, killed a few people. At our school, the more loved people there, had taken notice of the detail, several of the members of our cast wore such coats, and to the dismay and the destitution of their wits, they decided to poke at such. Calling us the Trench Coat Mafia provoked the name out of us, to mock their jest and to make light of all misshapenness. And so the LTM was created, and we began to bring in members. What does that hold for us in the future? Where does our future lay? I feel our organization can grow, and flourish in this harsh cold world.

A stunt was pulled recently in the history of the LTM. A shirt sale was held, and several of them were purchased. One by myself, and if done again, I highly recommend them. The sale pulled in some cash for the site I, and others post on. In the future I can see another possibility coming to us. Perhaps we could begin by purchasing miscellaneous items in sets off of E-Bay and the shopping network. These set would have to be centered around the views of the city in which we are based; Lawrenceburg. That means we need to purchase hunting and brain wasting devices centered around the dominate male monkey mother fuckers which live in the city! I mean, the nice consumers.

After we acquire some monetary values from the scam, or legitimate dealings rather, we can move to better things. Our next step on the trail would be to purchase a candy factory. In the factory we shall produce candy. How is that special you ask? Well we add a nice present to the candies we manufacture. Toys. So yes, we have a Candy/Toy shop. In the boxes for the candies there will be a small toy. The toy. The toy is the key. In the toy there shall be a small chemical bottle inside. When the child shakes it, and no doubt they shall, it releases a gas. The gas shall destroy and entices the mind, bending it to the will of the LTM, for when the toy is shaken, it also says a message. The message shall be burnt into the mind of all you hear it. They will then be in service to the LTM for the rest of their lives, and will not know why.

Soon after the establishment of the industrial aspect of the LTM, the United States shall be our, and we shall rule from there. In the sanctum of our homeland we shall send messages to the contacts in Germany and Australia we have made in the years. They shall start the second wave. In those countries we will send plans to construct water “purifiers” to help the cities. These purifiers will discharge powders into the water systems. As the water churns under the city the society will be unaware of them dissolving concealed in the pipes. Soon after the continent of Australia and half of Europe will be succored into our power. As soon as the powers of their neighbors realize what is happening it will be far too late. Over the sky they shall see the missiles of our arsenal fly over head as they unleashed their hidden desires. They fly into the atmosphere as explode with the sheer power of the sun. The chemicals inside are warped by the radiation of the sun’s rays and cause all the peoples of the world to transmogrify into zombies and giant monsters. Their skins will rip inside out and the bones will become the exoskeleton to protect them as their muscles triple in power and speed.

The last of us, the LTM, the saviors of the world, will fight back. We will fight them with melee weapons as the world ammunition supplies wear thin. Soon the few of us left find a scientist that will discover the cure for the infections we induced. In reverting the process the monstrosities will wither and die. Wreathing in pain and agony, they will scream and wane for the rescue of the torture until they strain, and snap their spines will the power of their enhanced muscular strength. Then we repopulate and procreate in anticipation of the remaking of the world.

That, shall be the future of the LTM, and thus the world. Well, either that, or we shall stop after we expend our resources on pornography and Italian Ice, as the flicker of our dim computer screens consumes our attention.

Comments
on Jun 25, 2004
I know this is a bit premature... but when LTM finally does have a strangle hold over Australia, this is my request to be known as grand wizard Muggaz...

now let me just find my robe and wizard hat...

BAM!!!
on Jun 26, 2004
oh no! robe and wizard hat? we arent the KKK!


(they're better organized)



good times
on Jul 20, 2004
but when LTM finally does have a strangle hold over Australia, this is my request to be known as grand wizard Muggaz...


bah !. luckily i found this in time !. muggy, the head honcho of ltm australia is none other than moi !.

and i shall rule with an iron fist !. yeah !. i shall do um, really bad stuff ! yeah !. like make you eat all your vegetables and listen to my dumb stories about when i was young ! yeah !. i'm so scary. vile despot, me. lookout. i intend to change this world with niceness as soon as i can remember where i put her

mig XX

ps: and jesse speaks the truth. we cannot take on uniform !. we're not supposed to stand for anything. the ltm is just something you could stand for if you're not likely to fall for anything else.
on Jul 20, 2004
Pfft... you can lead all you want Miggy...

I just like the title Grand Wizard... You can be grand wizard poobah if it floats your boat

BAM!!!
on Jul 20, 2004
Studly-C and I ARE destined to control the world/